Using Empathy to Turn Enemies into Friends
Bullies to Buddies teaches the practical application of the Golden Rule to turn hostility into harmony at school, in the home, the workplace.
Sobre Sua Organização
Nome da Organização
Bullies to Buddies
Página da organização na internet
País da organização
Estados Unidos , NY, Staten Island
Países onde este projeto vem gerando impacto social
Sua organização é
Seu papel na Educação:
Administrador, Conselheiro, Outros.
Natureza da escola na qual seu projeto está afiliado:
Pública (mensalidade gratuita)
Há quanto tempo sua organização está em operação?
Mais de 5 anos
As informações que você fornecer aqui serão usadas para preencher todas as partes do seu perfil deixadas em branco, como interesses, informação da organização e website. Nenhuma informação do contato será tornada pública. Por favor, desmarque aqui se você não deseja que isso aconteça..
Selecione o estágio que melhor se aplica à solução
Estabelecido (estágios anteriores completos e com sucesso comprovado)
Há quanto tempo seu projeto está em atividade?
Em execução por mais de 5 anos
A necessidade: Qual é o problema que você está tentando resolver?
The world is in a crisis regarding bullying in schools. Despite years of anti-bullying campaigns and hundreds of research studies, the problem continues unabated. The U.S. Dept. of Education asserted the need to explore new approaches to the problem, for research shows that the most highly regarded programs rarely reduce bullying and often result in an increase.
Anti-bullying campaigns attempt to promote sympathy (rather than empathy) for victims but are having an unintended negative side-effect: promoting intolerance and hatred for anyone we think of as bullies. There is an unprecedented level of tension in schools as a result of anti-bullying policies, as each child and their parents try to convince the school that their child is the innocent one and the other is the guilty one.
A Solução: Qual é a sua solução? Seja específico!
Ironically, the solution to bullying has been known for thousands of years. We have lost it because the new field of bullying is based on a criminal paradigm rather than a scientific one. Bullies are considered guilty perpetrators and victims as innocent parties who need to be protected. It unwittingly dis-empowers kids by teaching them they can’t solve their own problems.
A scientific paradigm recognizes that all social groups form pecking orders and members struggle for dominance. Rather than trying in vain to get bullies to give up their power, it is more helpful to empower kids with the wisdom for not being victims.
The true solution is radical: promoting empathy (not sympathy) for bullies. Through structured role-playing games, I enable people to experience the pleasure they unwittingly give their bullies by getting upset, and teach them how to easily stop being bullied by treating their bullies like friends. This is the true purpose of the Golden Rule: to love our enemies.
O Modelo: Demonstre através de um exemplo específico como sua solução faz a diferença; inclua suas atividades primárias
The system I call Bullies to Buddies dramatically reduces bullying by teaching the scientific application of the Golden Rule. The only reliable way I can get you to treat me like a friend is by treating you like a friend. So even if you are treating me like an enemy, by treating you like a friend, I will get you to stop treating me like an enemy.
We are aware when others treat us like enemies, but there are many ways by which we treat others like enemies without realizing it. I have developed a set of simple “Bullies to Buddies Rules” that teach people how to treat others like friends rather than enemies and demonstrate their application via role-playing. I teach both students and staff how to create harmony by applying these rules in all of the common bullying situations.
There is a second essential component to helping a school. The staff must stop intervening in ways that unwittingly cause hostilities to intensify. The main reason bullying has been a growing problem in schools is because staff are being required to take the side of victims against bullies. Through role playing, I demonstrate how this results in a situation known in psychology as “triangulation.” Hostilities among the two parties escalate, as each one tries to get us on their side, and one party become hostile towards us for taking the other's side against them. I replace triangulation with "Magic Responses" that enable staff to quickly defuse incidents of bullying while increasing students' emotional maturity, resilience and independence. Teachers can spend their time teaching instead of policing.
O Mercado: Quem são os seus pares e concorrentes? Identificar os outros que também estão trabalhando para solucionar as mesmas necessidades que você e o que você faz de diferente em relação a eles. Quais seriam os desafios impostos por esses concorrentes que impactariam no seu sucesso ou crescimento?
Fortunately, there are other professionals teaching kids how to stop being victims, for this knowledge is not new. However, I have developed what I believe is the most logical, comprehensive and effective system that exists for understanding and imparting this wisdom. The role-plays I have developed make it especially convincing.
My competitors are the popular bullying prevention programs, primarily the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program that has dominated the market, that teach schools to protect victims from bullies. They have lobbied for anti-bullying laws that require schools to use their approach, making it harder for schools to introduce a contrary approach.
Another major obstacle is the public’s love for the idea that bullies should be treated like criminals.
Agora que você falou sobre sua solução, ajude-nos a entendê-la melhor
Defina sua organização, programa, serviço ou produto em 1-2 frases. [140 caracteres]
Bullies to Buddies teaches how to use the Golden Rule to turn your enemies into friends.
Identifique o que é inovador na sua solução em 1-2 frases. [136 caracteres]
Bullies to Buddies empowers people to stop being bullied without anyone's help and without getting anyone in trouble.
Temas relacionados à inscrição
Qual foi o impacto da sua solução até hoje?
The Bullies to Buddies website has free materials that have helped countless children and schools not only in the U.S. but in other parts of the world as well. Our books, videos and cds have helped many thousands more people. We have also created videos for creating harmony in the workplace and marriage.
Over the past decade, I have given close to a thousand full day seminars to mental health professionals and educators and personally trained dozens of schools, districts and mental health agencies in my system. The schools and professionals using it are experiencing unprecented success.
Other companies and professionals have partnered with me to create additional programs for promoting this unique approach to bullying. A dynamic young speaker, Brooks Gibbs, created a program with me called Bully-Proof Your Teen, and The Professional Learning Board offers my Online course, Bullying: The Golden Rule Solution, to teachers. Several authors have incorporated my ideas in their books.
Qual é a sua expectativa de impacto para os próximos 1 - 3 anos?
While Bullies to Buddies is considered a controversial approach, its influence is growing as it is becoming increasingly obvious from both research and real-life experience that the "bullying will not be tolerated" approach is failing. We are getting a growing number of requests for trainings and presentations as well as for news interviews.
Our membership list has grown to over 19,000 people. Most of them have attended my seminars and like the approach or benefitted from our website and products. Many are eager to see the approach gain wide acceptance. With their help, and with good promotional efforts, I am expecting to reach a tipping point in which the Bullies to Buddies paradigm becomes recognized as the correct approach to creating harmony. Wisdom needs to be returned to society!
Quais são as barreiras que podem impedir o sucesso do seu projeto? Como você planeja superá-las?
The overriding barrier is the public's love of the idea that bullies are responsible for causing their misery and that it is society's responsibility to protect them from bullies.
A second barrier is the power of the dominant anti-bullying programs, most notably the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, which has spent millions of dollars promoting itself as the "gold standard," despite the poor research results.
The third barrier is the anti-bullying laws, passed under pressure from the dominant bullying programs, requiring schools to use their approach to bullying.
To overcome these barriers, I need to continue giving seminars, writing articles, producing products and services, and getting our supporters to advocate for Bullies to Buddies in their schools and organizations.
As inscrições vencedoras apresentam um plano sólido sobre como vão alcançar e acompanhar o crescimento do projeto. Identifique as metas de seis meses para aumentar seu impacto.
Official recognition by the New Jersey Board of Education of the Bullies to Buddies approach.
Identifique as três maiores atividades que você terá de completar para obter a meta estabelecida para os seis (6) meses
Establish a Bullies to Buddies Training Center in New Jersey (which neighbors my hometown of Staten Island).
Generate interest from major New Jersey news media in Bullies to Buddies.
Bring awareness of the effectiveness of Bullies to Buddies to New Jersey politicians involved in education.
Agora pense grande! Identifique qual seria sua meta de impacto para 12 meses
Getting the U.S. Dept. of Education to recognize a new paradigm for dealing with bullying.
Identifique as três maiores atividades que você terá de completar para obter a meta estabelecida para os doze (12) meses
Gather data on the success of schools using the Bullies to Buddies approach.
Set up meetings with personnel in Washington who are responsible for dealing with bullying in school.
Publish articles in national educational news outlets on a new pardigm for understanding the problem of bullying.
História: Queremos saber mais sobre o momento de descoberta desta solução. Conte-nos a história sobre onde e quando o(s) fundador(res) vislumbrou(aram) o potencial desta solução para mudar o mundo. [125 palavras]
My life's course was changed on the day of the Columbine shooting, the event that woke the world to the plight of bullied kids. I had taught hundreds of such kids how to stop being bullied, using a simple role-playing technique, and knew I possessed the solution to the problem presented by Columbine.
I had also had taught hundreds of parents how to get siblings to stop tormenting each other, for the problem of sibling rivalry has plagued families since Biblical times. I showed parents how they were paradoxically causing their kids to fight by trying to make them stop fighting, and how to reduce the fighting by having their kids deal with each other directly.
But I saw the educational world's reaction to Columbine: it was going to try to get rid of bullying by taking the side of victims against bullies. I knew that what causes hostilities to ESCALATE at home could not possibly REDUCE hostilities in school. So I immediately made it my mission to promote the true solution.
Por favor, explique de que forma o estabelecimento de parcerias é importante para o sucesso de sua inovação
The Professional Learning Board offers our Online course on bullying for teachers; Cross Country Education, one of the nations leading providers of seminars for mental health professionals, sponsors our seminars; Brooks Gibbs has co-created a program called Bully-Proof Your Teen; PSI Solutions, Inc. offers Bullies to Buddies training to schools in Ohio and several other states; The Child and Teen Success Center of New Jersey is establishing a NJ Bullies to Buddies Training Center.
Qual o perfil da equipe (colaboradores, voluntários etc.) que vai garantir o cumprimento das metas de crescimento identificadas por você na seção ‘Impacto Social’?
My wife and I work full-time running Bullies to Buddies. We engage paid consultants for website development, accounting, and other functions as needed. We have Certified Trainers who promote our mission. We are interested in hiring a paid intern to help us with public relations and marketing. Our mailing list has a subsection of people who are willing to advocate for our cause when we call upon them.
We would be happy to enter into a strategic partnership with a company that is already established in the business of producing and marketing educational programs.
Fale mais sobre as necessidades ou ofertas que você selecionou anteriormente e/ou sugira categorias de apoio que não foram listadas
We are eager to support other educational initiatives that properly apply the Golden Rule for creating harmony.
We would like help in obtaining a strategic partner and/or a foundation grant to conduct a large scale implementation and research study on our program.
We would be pleased to obtain a mentor who can guide us to achieving our goals more quickly and effectively.